M’Mere Land: The Cool Stuff I Have at my House to Keep My Grandson Happy
by Linda Oatman High
Call me M’Mere. It’s the French word for “grandmother.” I’m not French, but I like the way it sounds, and friends say that it fits. My husband didn’t want to be the male version - P’Pere - for reasons that included one mysterious phobia about sounding Peter Pan-ish. He’s Pop. Just plain old Pop.
I didn’t want my grandmother name to be boring or traditional, because I’m neither. My house and its contents reflect my personality, and I’ve got lots of cool stuff. Thanks to the addition 22 months ago of Connor Jay Oatman, I’ve now got even more cool stuff. It keeps him happy, and as I’m a babysitting M’Mere, I’m happy if the Con-Man’s happy.
It all began with the Miracle Blanket: an amazing automatic swaddler that’s worth every penny of the $29.95. Upon the birth of our 8-pound bundle of joy, I went on a little Internet shopping spree and discovered the product that my son and his wife would walk through a room of snakes to retrieve. Upon leaving it at our house one icy night, my son Justin made the 45-minute-trek back to reclaim the Miracle Blanket.
“This is why he sleeps through the night,” he claimed. “We tell everybody about it.”
So do I. Tens of thousands of well-rested babies can’t be wrong, and the super-soft periwinkle cotton blanket was my first addition to the M’Mere inventory of stuff to keep a baby content.
“It helps babies to sleep better on their backs!” I raved to anyone within earshot. “It prevents scratches! They’re not fussy when they’re swaddled! It’s cozy!” I’d turned into the M’Mere Monster: a bragging baby-focused woman with the obsession of making the world a perfect and wonderful place for someone who’d just made his way into it.
Next came the Bumbo seat. A revolutionary product, the soft and cushy baby seat is made to support infants as young as eight weeks in an upright sitting position. It’s ergonomically correct, meaning that it’s good for the baby’s spine. It’s also good for babysitting grandmothers who need to answer lots of email.
The Exersaucer was the next addition to the M’Mere collection. Surrounded by toys in a spinning, swiveling, bouncing universe of colors and sounds, the baby was content. He got some exercise. I got some rest.
Now that Connor is officially a toddler, we no longer need blankets or Bumbos or bouncy round gadgets that occupy half the living room. Now we need a plethora of toys that take up the entire living room floor. No sole is safe from tiny Fisher Price chickens and pigs or little Matchbox cars with the ability to trip a 200-pound man. Pop almost broke his neck falling over a Camaro one day. He uttered words that I’m hoping Connor doesn’t repeat.
Some of the stuff that keeps Connor happy in M’Mere Land isn’t meant for kids. It’s stuff I have anyway: a chirping cuckoo clock, a Charlie Parker ventriloquist’s puppet, a four-foot-tall witch who changes hats with the seasons, a collection of guitars dating back to 1969, a piano and a keyboard and a drum kit and a karaoke machine, an enormous framed print of Barnum and Bailey clowns, a kitchen light glowing with carousel horses, an electric merry-go-round that plays old-time carousel music, a fog machine and a bubble machine and a disco-light revolving machine, a scary Pee-Wee Herman talking doll, an antique pinwheel, a bathroom with walls of old CD and album covers. Connor loves all this stuff. He also loves my pirate costume and my fairy costume and my pink-wigged Bugs Bunny costume. M’Mere Land was created long before Connor was born, before the realization ever hit that one day somebody would actually LOVE me for all this stuff.
Since Connor became a toddler, I’ve been on a quest. The goal is to add to my attic even more stuff to make the baby happy. I now have a 20-foot inflatable snowman (from
www.bronners.com) and a black blow-up spider that sticks via suction cups to the side of my house. I have an automated candy dish and a dancing reindeer and a stuffed Santa Claus that hangs from the ceiling no matter that it’s not Christmas.
My spare time is filled with internet missions possible, in search of the perfect child-pleasing items. Next on the agenda is a fort for the backyard and a splashing fountain swimming pool bouncy thing for summertime. Tiny Redfeather snowshoes and skiis are on my list, as are an eensy-weensy boogie board and a sled. Connor’s good for me: I swim and ski and surf and snowshoe. All the “S” words. Oh, and I smile. M’Mere Land is full of smiles.
I not only search the web in hopes of finding the perfect stuff, but with a wish of finding the perfect place. I’ve always enjoyed travel, but now I’m seeing new places through new eyes: the beautiful brown eyes of my first grandson. Having just returned from Smugglers Notch, the cool Vermont resort that’s been named best family fun place in the United States, I can’t wait to take the Con-Man. I can’t wait to take him to Manhattan, where we’ll ride the Ferris Wheel at Toys R Us and go on the Sky Ride at the top of the Empire State Building. I’m excited to tote Connor to cities and mountains and beaches and forests. I hate camping, but it’ll be fun with the little man. The art museums await in Philadelphia, and the boardwalks beckon from throughout Jersey. There’s Chuck E. Cheese and Dutch Wonderland and
Hershey Park and Dorney’s Wildwater Kingdom. There’s Six Flags and Mars 2112. There’s trick or treating and sitting on Santa’s lap (for Connor; not me). There’s Elaine’s Haunted Dinner Theatre in Cape May, and deep sea fishing in Ocean City. There’s Crystal Cave in Pennsylvania and Christopher Place in Tennessee. Further from home, there’s Disney. Distance is no object when it comes to Connor Jay Oatman. Heck, we might even go really far, and swim with the dolphins in the British Virgin Islands.
But we’ll always come back home, to M’Mere Land, where smiles, and love, and stuff abound.
Linda Oatman High is a mother of two from Bowmansville,
Pennsylvania where she lives with her husband, son Zach and two dogs. Her son Justin is grown up, and he lives nearby. Justin's wife Christine modeled (as the grown-up diving-horse girl) for
her book "The Girl on the High-Diving Horse." Justin & Christine made
her a grandmother ("M'Mere") on May 18th,
2004. Linda Oatman High is an author of books for children visit her website
to learn more about her books.
FEEDBACK:
"I found these suggestions to be sad and immature.
Among what a grandparent has to offer, is, presumably, a mature outlook...but also balance, a deep cherishing love, values, and most importantly, a nurturing of the parent's
relationship. Plus affection, old-fashioned cooking - particularly old-fashioned treats....And maybe you spend time playing with them? My co-grandma is visiting my daughter at present: my daughter tells me how she gets heaped over with autumn leaves, how she plays with them on the swing, helps them to climb trees, sends balls at them, and reads to them....Mere "things" won't carry the memories that this grandma
will. If you can then support your love with a little financial backup, to help the parents with treats, excursions, school or college fees...then, you have been a good grandparent.
20 foot inflatable things and record covers stuck on the bathroom wall don't really do it."
-- Submitted by Frances K
