My brother-in-law doesn’t know it yet, but he has really let me down. I
guess it would be better put to say he really has disappointed me, and I
believe let himself down. I am going to have to share it with him mano a
mano. My mother just sent her weekly (you heard me, weekly) mail pack of
pictures, letter(s) and general smiley faced stuff our way. And there it
was, staring at me in jet black from the tip of a fresh Sharpie. Under a
photo of my brother-in-law Gary playing with his nine month old
granddaughter it stated, "Grampy playing with Kate". I’m still reeling, hoping
it was a typo and not cast in concrete. However I am preparing myself for the worst.
Grampy? ... Gary, what happened? Can you reverse this travesty or is it past tabula rosa time for your young grandchildren’s impressionable
minds. Would it be too damaging for them to reboot and start over?
My sister and brother-in-law have recently crossed over the wonderful river
into the land of grandparenthood. This is something I hope I’m still more
than a few years away from, but tempus does fugit, and it’s coming. One of
the wonders of becoming a grandparent is that you get a new name. Some of
us have wanted to change our names our whole lives. I don’t know where these
affectionate nicknames originated, but those who are wise, pick and with
great care and pre-select their own. I have known some to go with the
flow and let fate or the grandchild’s first attempt to say their name stick.
But I think this method can be fool hardly or just downright dangerous.
Although it can work out. My sister as a young lass couldn’t say Gramps, it
came out Tamps and it stuck. I kind of like it; crisp, simple- even authoritative. And I must say for the twenty-eight years I knew Tamps, it
wore well and he grew into it.
My mother-in-law came up with something chic and classy with some élan. Her
baptismal grandmother name is Mimi. I like it and it fits. Short and concise, easy on the palette and it has no bad breath or hip-walker
connotations associated with it. My parents went with Nina and Pops. I’d
give them a B, B+ for their selection. One has a tinge of youth (Pops) and
Nina doesn’t have a foot in the grave feel to it, although we have no
Spanish genes that I am aware of. My grandparents were Grammy and Tamps
on
my mom’s side and Nana and Bompa on my dad’s side. I’ll give my Gram a pass
for even though it has an old world feel to it, she allowed, and I believe
preferred the abbreviation. Nana and Bompa had a simple rhyming scheme that
always worked for my poetic side. I’ve often smiled at my wife’s grandparent’s nomenclatures, Mimaw and Din Din, definitely southern. Those
who knew her grandfather well went with Din, the second Din not necessary.
Her grandfather on her father’s side went with plain vanilla, Granddad, a
safe choice but overused in my book, with no panache. But I will add that
it is my opinion smashing granddad names are tougher to pick than grandmother names, because of the corn ball/syrup factor. I lean to mono
syllabic choices for men: Tamps, Pops, Din. I guess perhaps B.F Skinner had
a little something to say after all.
Candidly, at this point I’m terrified to ask my sister what name she has
chosen. This is because really bad news in the grandparent name game usually
comes in pairs. So I must say, I am not at all optimistic. If her youthful
husband, the biggest kid in the family went with Grampy, who knows how terrifyingly ugly this could get? I’m personally enforcing the don’t ask,
don’t tell family rule on this one. So I’ll live hoping for the best and
when one of my nephew’s children blurts it out as a next family gathering,
I’m praying for the whole clan we’ll get to dodge the dreaded Oma or Mawmaw
bullet.
