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Back-to-School Time!
Many children eagerly anticipate the start of the new school year -- and
so do the parents and grandparents who raise them. For others, though,
August is a time of struggle and anxiety. Yet children go back to school
every year. Why do some find it so frightening?
First, expectations are everything. Children either dread or welcome the
new school year based on their experiences from last year. Also, remember
that going back to school can be as stressful for them as a job change
would be for you. Your children or grandchildren may be heading to a new
building this year, making it even more difficult.
Here are some tips that might calm those jitters and get the youngsters
off to a great start this year:
1. Visit the school in advance. Even when children already know their
school building, it is still good to refresh their memory. Take a walk
down the hallways, find their new classrooms, and visit their new lockers
without the distraction of first-day noise and crowds. Visiting the
school before classes start can help children get more excited about the
first day. They can start to think about seeing their friends and favorite
teachers. Make sure to call the school ahead of time to see when the
building is open.
2. Meet the teacher. Children are always worried about meeting their new
teachers. Will they be mean, nice, give a lot of homework? One helpful
technique to teach children about meeting anyone new is how to read a
person's nonverbal signals. Show them some facial expressions that a
teacher might display for disapproval, approval, etc. Then discuss reasons
why the teacher may give these expressions. It is also important that
young children know there is open line of communication between their
parent/guardian and the teacher. This gives children a more comfortable
connection with school as a whole. A teacher should be informed in advance
about any life changes a child has recently experienced. Advance knowledge
of a divorce, death, birth, or loss of a pet can help the teacher deal
with resulting behavior changes in a child.
3. Mark the transition. During the final days of summer, plan a small day
trip to the park, pool, or beach. Spend a day participating in their
favorite activities. When doing back-to-school shopping for clothes and
supplies, make it fun and not overbearing. Overdoing this can be boring or
scary to children. Choose special places in advance where they will be
able to study. Show them that you'll help them find space where they can
work on things that matter, such as homework!
4. Homework, homework, homework. When it comes to homework, it is
important to get children in the habit right away. Sit down and set
expectations about when and where they are to do their homework. Setting
the right time depends on knowing their needs and style. Establish a place
in which homework is to be done; this should be a quiet setting where
distractions will be at a minimum, away from toys, television, and
brothers and sisters. Equip them with all the necessary supplies in
advance, to limit the disruption of starts and stops. Lastly, know your
role. It is your job to give them every chance to complete their homework.
That does not mean doing it for them -- avoid the temptation of
over-helping. But you need not let them flounder; be available when those
important questions come up. If they are having an especially difficult
time with homework, attach a note to the teacher requesting extra help.
5. Talk with your child or grandchild. Before school starts, tell them
they'll be fine! Encourage them to get together with school friends they
might not have seen all summer. This may reduce fears of isolation in the
classroom. Listen to their fears and worries, and acknowledge them as real
-- do not simply dismiss them. Also, are you tired of hearing them say
they did "nothing" at school? Once school starts, ask them about the
funniest things or the happiest part of their day. Get the conversation
going by telling them about your day and the special parts of it. Getting
them to talk is a great way to get them to digest their day, draw
conclusions, or ask for help.
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