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Grand-Pals: Grandparents Connecting No Time For Me: I was browsing the web and came across the Grandparents Magazine and I was so happy indeed. It is a wonderful sight especially for "first time" grandparent(s). I am 55 years of age and I have my first grandchild who is now 11 months old. I quite work and went to work part-time in my home to help my daughter care for my grandson with the understanding that she would pay me monthly as if he was in a nursery. It is also to teach her that she is a single parent now with responsibility. By the way, my daughter is 25 years of age, a college graduate, in the National Guard (could be called to duty at any time); has just returned from Bosnia about a year ago, works and is a good daughter; however, she is not responsible as I would like to see her. When it comes to her son she is number 1. I guess my problem with her is she still expects to go out with her friends and "party" leaving the baby home with me and his aunt. We do not have a problem sometimes keeping the baby because I know she needs a break. It is just she feels that we should help in other areas too such as buying things for the baby, his clothes, food, etc. Now as a grandparent, I will give me last to my grandson because I love him so much. He is such a joy in my life. See you see I lost my husband of 28 years in 1999 and I was still having a rough time of the loss of my husband. When my grandson came along, I was happy and I definitely wanted to be with him the entire first year as opposed to placing him in a daycare. The other side of the coin is that it is not a problem for my daughter to come and stay with us on a Friday until Sunday, for us to keep her son even though I have had him all the week, nine hours per day. I find that I have no time for myself now and I miss that. When she gets off work and comes and pick up the baby, it is 6:30 p. m., and I am tried so I do not feel up to going even to the mall like today. So, I was just playing around on the computer when I found your website. That was God because he knew I needed to vent. I did not know about this support group. And, I am a good grandmother, but I do not want my daughter to think I "must" do things because he is my grandson and as she puts it "you should want to do it because he is your grandson". I do not want to do a lot of things because she is my daughter and needs to grow up. But, I feel guilty for not doing things because my grandson is so innocent, yet I want to get back at my daughter. Trying to talk to her is like talking to a brick wall. She is just so inconsiderate of me and her Sister and we will do anything to help her, but some things like going out partying, hanging out with the girls and trips out of town, must stop as she has to choose between the "streets or her son. When she goes out she will stay the night here because I do not want her dragging my grandson out of bed at 2:00 or 3:00 a. m., then however, she will sleep all day and leave the baby on me and her sister. I want her to have some fun, it is the kind of fun I just do not like. I do not like the night club scene at all. I want her to do spiritual things like bowling, movies, church activities with our single ministries--and I wonder when will she change if ever? Has anyone had any similar experiences like this? I love my daughter and I know she loves me, it is just that give her an inch and she takes a mile with it. Any suggestions? Thank you.....First Time Grand Grand Grandson's Father is Abusive: I have a 6 mo. old grandson that I had the pleasure of having every single weekend from Thurs. thru Sunday since birth. I looked forward to these visits and really bonded with him. My daughter is not married to the baby's father and to top it off he is a convicted felon for violence x2. When he first learned that she was pregnant ( she was still living with me) he bit her in the leg so hard it left his entire teeth marks all the back to the molars. She didn't think too much of it and when she went to the OB-GYN for a check up he called the police and reported it. The fact that he was still on parole and had only recently been released from a 5yr. prison he was ordered to go back for 90 days due to this. He would have had to go back for 5 yrs. if only she would have signed the complaint but defended him. Yes I know she has all the classic signs of "abused woman syndrome". They got an apartment together when he was released and had been hitting her leaving bruises weekly through out her pregnancy. Once the baby was born it was like I felt responsible for the child like it was mine. I warned both of them that if this happens anymore I was going to tell the parole officer that he again was violating parole this time by merely even being "with" her at all. Finally I got sick of it and actually did it. Now she HATES me and won't let me see the baby. Again he is now back in jail for another 90 days (again would have got 5 yrs. if she would have only signed the form) she believes...this is love and that he is THE ONE. He is "the one" alright, the one that will in the end either kill her or the. I know my daughter, to her this is like Romeo ad Juliet and they WILL be together. I miss my grandson so very much. She says that she has "stand by her man" and if that means not allowing me to see "their" son due to putting the baby's father in jail then so be it. I've thought of Grandparent Rights and have spoken to an attorney. My daughter says she will fight me tooth and nail or they will all move far away. I've even thought of calling Child Protective Services but haven't I caused enough damage? This man is the worst nightmare of my life. He is a criminal thru and thru. My daughter really thinks it's the real thing. I don't even know where he came from or what rock he crawled out from under. Any help appreciated! Loretta Grandpals Home : 1 : 2 : 3 : 4 : 5 : 6 : 7 : 8 : 9 : 10: 11 |
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