Grand-Pals: Grandparents Connecting

If you get help can you please let me know!!!

Sensitive Grandchild:  We will be visiting our granddaughter, who lives in Hawaii, for her 1st birthday. My daughter has warned us NOT to be offended or hurt if our granddaughter starts crying when we attempt to hold her. I hesitate to tell my husband this as it will only sensitize him and exacerbate the situation as he will then go in the opposite direction, e.g. NOT try to hold her. Any suggestions? WI grandmother

Raising 6-year-old grandson:  Hello...We are grandparents raising our-6-year-old grandson. We are late 40's and early 50 year old age bracket. Our problem is that friends that are our age do not have young children and therefore when we get together we have the only child. It makes it very lonely for our grandson. We would like to meet other grandparents around our age that are raising their grandchildren. We are in the Dallas, Texas area. Can you help? Thanks, Enola

Need Advice:  I am a 57 year old Grandmother of 4. Three of the Grandchildren are the one's we are concerned about. Their ages are 4,6 and 9. My husband (of 20years, second marriage) and I care deeply about the children and have spent a lot of time with all of them since their birth. We have also helped their parents (my daughter) out monetarily so much that it is hard to do it to that extend anymore. We are at a crossroads here and are having trouble figuring out how to deal with the situation. My daughter has always been very irresponsible as a person and in trouble with the law on various occasions with her drinking and temper. She and her husband divorced and agreed to sole custody......but ended up living together again. They are both at fault. She has now been put in a halfway house for 6mos. of rehabilitation by the courts. Believe it or not.....she is planning on going back to her ex-husband when she is released. We have helped her ex with the children to get through the summer, as he has not childcare because of no planning and limited finances. This has not worked. He is now sending the children to his family (extended) out of state. Unfortunately his family has problems, sickness and drug issues of their own. We are beside ourselves. Not only will be have little positive impact on the children, we are afraid that he will make it soon impossible for us to have any relationship with the kids. They love us also. We are very close. It is heart-wrenching. We would like to know what our rights are in this situation. I am sure we are not alone. Even a support group and advice would help. Anybody out there with a parallel situation?  Thanks. Susan

Need Help In Idaho:  I live in Arizona, but my son and his wife and 2 children live in Idaho. A few days ago, my son came home from work to find the house stripped of everything and his children gone. We do not know where they are. His wife never said a word. When he went to work that morning he had no idea that would be the last time he would see them as he kissed them goodbye. He is an excellent father and extremely close to his children. Now he is left with a few pictures on the walls, a few toys left behind but can not locate or find his babies. What kind of person would do this? He knows his children are crying for him and they don't understand what happened to their father. My son did everything for his children. Went to work everyday to come home to a dirty house, laundry, nothing cooked for dinner and immediately had the children thrown in his lap. He is the one who got up every night to take care of their needs, took care of them when they were sick, changed their diapers and made sure they were feed, clothed and had medical care. My grandson is 4 and my granddaughter is 2 years old. My grandson just had surgery. My son's heart has been ripped out and his children taken from him by their mother who drinks, fights and has slept with other men. We are desperate and need help. The police will not do anything. I' m trying to find out what to to help my son and find my grandchildren. Can anyone help? This is a real mess, I need to find out Idaho state law about taking kids out of state without the other parent knowing about it. Is this legal? Please only send real e-mails so I know it is not a joke or someone being mean. We have been through enough and still no answers. Just hurt and disbelief. God bless you and thank you for your support and help.  Nadine

What Am I Doing Wrong?  Hello I am desperate I have 9 grand kids and whenever I say anything wrong my kids with hold the grands from me. I have always had a large part in my daughter and her children's life I babysat whenever she asked me I never said no. She was having another baby and got married. She asked me to keep her 2 boys even though I told her I did not have but a little food I had lost my job she sent them anyway with no food but she eventually sent a half a pack of hamburger. I kept them 4 days and i was tired and flustered I live in a Senior building and when I went to the hospital to see her she said her husband (who is not their father) would take them that Sunday to give me a break. I made the mistake of saying that would be great because I felt like the manager would say something to me about them staying. She became mad and sent them with her husband. When her kids came over they talked about her and her husband they are 9 and 13 the 13 year old talked about killing them in their sleep I became very upset and expressed what I thought was wrong in her life as if mine was so great. Needless to say they went back and told her everything I said. She has since had the baby and wont ever let me see my 3 grands. How do I move on with my life without the growing guilt. She cussed me and called me B's and told me I would never see them again I apologized in a letter and to her husband in person but she would not talk or look at me or let me see the baby. Thank you please do you have tips for me I know I was wrong?  Barbara

Very Sad Grandparents:  We have what we feel is a big problem. My husbands daughter my stepdaughter is 5 months pregnant. The father is a married man, but is not interested in the baby. She at present time is not married. She is recently divorced with joint custody to her 22 month old son. She lives with her mother in another state. Her Mother feels it is a good idea for her to give the baby up for adoption. We on the other hand have just found out about the pregnancy after her keeping it a secret all these months and her refusing to get in touch with us until last week in an e-mail., want her to keep it because we know how much she will regret giving the baby away years down the line. We have offered for her to live with us and have the baby. But she still feels the need to give the baby up. We told her we would even take care of the baby until she felt she could take care of the baby herself. She still turned us down. We are a Christian family and the thought of never getting to see or even know our grandson is killing us. Can anyone help us with other suggestions before it's to late!

Basically I have a wonderful nurturing loving relationship with my sweet grandchildren however, I have a son-in-law that I have been very nice to.  I have been there for his children when no one else was there. This is the 2nd time he won't let me be around the kids.  He puts the 10-year-old in the middle.  She is the oldest.  They have her call and ask me for money which I don't have.  I need to talk with others respond ASAP.  Barbara

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